Miss Piggy Comes Clean About Her Jewish Roots

Miss Piggy

In an exclusive interview with Shalom Life, Miss Piggy, the star of the newest Muppet movie along with co-stars Amy Adams, Jason Segel, Chris Cooper and her former paramour, Kermit the Frog, has admitted that, despite the fact that she is, in fact, a pig, her mother was Jewish, making her one unfortunate and ironic swine.

In an interview with the New York Times in 1979, Frank Oz, whose had his hand inside Miss Piggy more than Kermit, outlined Piggy's biography: "She grew up in a small town in Iowa; her father died when she was young, and her mother wasn't that nice to her. She had to enter beauty contests to survive, as many single women do. She has a lot of vulnerability which she has to hide, because of her need to be a superstar."

At the time of that interview, Miss Piggy, still a relative and unproven newcomer to the world of show business, was reticent to mention her Jewish roots, fearing anti-Semitism.

In fact, it wasn’t until Miss Piggy decided to confront her Jewish mother, Ida, about her roots. At this point in time, Piggy’s father Herb Pigakowski, had died and had donated his body to J.M. Shneider Foods where he quickly became a popular breakfast meat.

“When my father died, I felt that I needed to know more about who I really was,” said Piggy.

And, true to her word, Piggy decided to do just that by embarking on a life-changing trip to Israel with her mom where she met a handsome member of the IDF who reportedly took Miss Piggy on a private “sight-seeing tour” of the Jewish State.

“I don’t know what it is about me, but I’ve always been attracted to men in green. Wait, can we leave this part out? Will Kermit see this?”

Finally tired of the naysayers who continue to disparage Miss Piggy, she finds strength in her newfound Judaism.

“People keep judging me, saying, ‘oh, you’re made entirely of pork, there’s no way you can ever be Jewish, let alone, Kosher’”, said Miss Piggy, referring to the reaction she has received from the Los Angeles Jewish community. “But the truth is, I have embraced my Jewish roots, and I’m a proud Jewish pig.”

This above story is fictional. Frank Oz never discussed the religious background of the Muppets so there is a 0.2% chance that she could be, which was enough for us.

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